it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
