its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
