what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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