If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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