That's intense
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
