yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
