I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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