Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
