you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
