I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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