apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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