when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
