I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
