I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
