bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
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