He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
