the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
