He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
