____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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