Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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