in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
