i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
