He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
not ubering you a puppy
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