i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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