so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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