I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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