Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
We named our party play list daddy issues
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I am mentally ready for anal.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
