How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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