tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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