apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
