i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
When are your genitals available?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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