Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize