Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
