I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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