how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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