FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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