yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize