a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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