I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
