how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
