Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
