But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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