I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
