She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
