WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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