like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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