Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
