I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
