Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
