And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
