Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
it's like iHOP with fire
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
